All my life I have been running after love. Fell in love quite a few times, and ended up with what? Tears, broken heart, bad memories and a hatred for love.
Sometimes I feel it is me who does something wrong every time. But is it even possible that everytime I can be wrong? Nah, not possible. Every single time that I have been in love, I have gone out of my way to make them feel loved, cared for and respected. To be rejected every single time. I should have actually learnt a lesson from all the heartbreaks and stayed away from this stupid thing. But silly me, every next time I see love peeping from the window, I make a mad dash for it. Only do I realise that its not love, its lust or the game of love when I get kicked in the ass for being so foolish.
Love has always been the most important thing for me. It was always the first priority, the world for me. But then, I guess what you always want, you dont always get it. I think I should jus give up on this pursuit for good. There is after all a limit to which my poor old heart can take it.
“Ohh my sweety, when will we hear any good news? When will we see your happily ever after?”
These are the only greetings I hear from my relatives and friends these days. I have an answer on the tip of my tongue.”Do you see me unhappy now, Aunty?” or “I am happily living a contented life working in one of the most reputable MNC’s. Isn’t that goof news enough for you?” But being the sweet and polite girl that I am, I keep my mouth shut and scream internally. Why is a girl’s happiness quotient derived from her married or single status in this society?
I am an educated and working professional with no intention to get married until I find that right person, be it at any point of time. Until then, what is the problem if I am living a happy life alone. Why is it so difficult for people to accept this little fact? Why can’t people see my happiness the way it is. I cannot have a decent conversation these days with either of my parents or any relatives without it ending in a bad way. And my friends are not too far behind in escalating my frustration level with snide remarks. They won’t leave a single opportunity to rub it on my face that they are settled in life with a loving hubby and great kids whereas I am just wasting my time. Everyone has a scripted dialogue for me regarding “marriage”, my “duties and responsibilities” and my “age”.
I don’t think I am stubborn. I just want to marry for love,not for the society. And I am tired of fighting for my thinking. I don’t think I would bump into Mr.Right anywhere around the corner soon. Very soon I feel I will succumb to the emotional pressure’s rendered by my dear parents and tie the knot with some guy only to see that happiness on their faces. Seriously, if contenment is only when the girl is married, why waste that lot of money in the name of education amd career. I personally do not feel proud of achieving these quality things when they have not been able to save my soul getting slaughtered in the name of social obligations.
Happiness is a feeling of contenment. It should not be associated with terms like money or material riches or social statuses. If it doesn’t reach the heart, its not worth the journey.